Pop culture enthusiast are always ready for the latest, juicy celebrity story, chimming in with added details of what they heard too.
Imo, The Kardashian-Jenners have mastered ‘staying relevant’ with their social media platform, sparking their own gossip narratives. I even wonder sometimes if their ‘negative’ publicity is smoke and mirrors for an upcoming episode or season for their tv show.
Lately, Khloe has been the center of attention, with the cheating scandal between her child’s father, Tristan Thompson, and Jordyn Woods. Bff to Khloe’s younger sister, Kylie.
March Madness gave us a double dose of alleged celebrity cheating.
Wendy Williams was added to the list, after she courageously shared, on her show, that she is struggling with addiction AND living in a sober house, committing to her wellness.
The rumor mill started with claims that her mental health is unstable because, allegedly, her husband’s mistress has given birth, to his child.
I’ll admit, at times, when I’m avoiding an important deadline or struggling with a decision I need to make, I’ll turn to social media for a distraction.
On the surface, it’s easy to read or listen about celebrity life one minute and dismiss it the next minute, numb to their humanity. After all, it’s not our life. Right?
When I looked deeper, I realized there was a learning opportunity for us all, within these two, real-life narratives… Forgiveness.
Majority of the men and women that have been impacted, and most importantly recovered, from the complex and often devastating web of an affair, can attest to the ongoing, necessary practice of forgiveness. Even the vile homewreckers (I’m being facetious) are granted favor of forgiveness.
Let’s look at the social media coverage we’ve witnessed so far, and compare it to some of the benefits of forgiveness:
Loving your partner does not excuse their hurtful behavior
For months, the partners of both women have been subjects of numerous cheating rumors; yet, the women were standing by their men. Vowing to make their relationship work, both women have expressed, family is one of their cherished values.
In relationships (love, family, friendships, work) we will experience or witness choices that we may label as good or bad. We, ourselves, will make these choices too.
Forgiveness does not mean we dishonor our wounds and allow the other person, to get away with hurting us, and we’re moving on. Forgiving is an internal experience; we are extending compassion and kindness to ourselves, our wounded heart, to validate our needs and feelings, acknowledging our hurt. We may never receive that from our partner, so we’re offering it to ourselves.
Release the struggle of right/wrong (win/lose)
So far, none of the women are entangled in a messy social media feud or legal battle with their partners, over these alleged affairs…so far. A lil shade, but it’s definitely low key.
There is a cost for holding your pain and relishing in a punishment and fantasizing your transgressor is banished to a living hell. Negative emotions that are long suffering and chronic can become toxic to your own mind, body, and spirit.
There is freedom in forgiveness. Stop. Breathe.
Live in the present, instead of the past
Within days of Jordyn Wood’s interview with Jada Pinket-Smith, Khloe was back to her Kardashian ways, posting sexy selfies and living her best life with baby True.
I’m not saying, her unbothered image is reality, but sometimes we have to ‘faith it, ‘til we make it.’
Shoulda, coulda, woulda keeps us powerless to the past. The story is on replay, and we add our own spin too, as if the past could be different.
Forgiveness supports us to make peace with our past, not bury it. It won’t change. The moment is now. Imagine walking through a threshold, from dark, somber, to colorful and energetic. You become engaged in living. Question: What are three things you are grateful for today? Repeat, each day.
No victim/blaming narrative
Back to Jordyn. During her Red Table Talk interview, she courageously shared her side of the story, and took ownership of her role.
Regardless if you’re the trespassed or trespasser, there is a heaviness and dis-ease within. Everyone can express their stories of injustice, and why their pain or hurtful behavior is justified.
With forgiveness, you lay your burdens down, and claim your power. This $hit ain’t easy, but it is possible. You choose victory, instead of victim.
A daily choice and practice of wellness and self-care
I applaud Wendy for making the decision to enter a sober living house. Each moment, we can experience the choices of suffering or wellness. Burdened by unforgiveness can lead to feelings of despair and hopelessness, which are deadly. Her sharing may have saved many people struggling, giving them the strength to reach out for help.
I’m sure more pieces to the Kardashian and William’s stories will be revealed, and we’ll be tuned in, watching (possibly, judging) as they navigate the spotlight.
Actually, instead of judging, let’s take a step to extend compassion. In turn, we build our awareness to extend compassion to ourselves. Forgiveness is a process. A practice. For a lifetime.